My Eating Disorder.
lifestartswithcoffee
(and feminism)
Home
About
Feminism
Lifestyle
Make a Change
Stuff For You
Services I Offer
Merch
Hello, my feminist friends! Today, I’m going to be getting up close and personal about my eating disorder: Binge Eating Disorder (BED.) Resources & helpful tips included!
There’s so much I want to say, and so much that I have been hiding here on my blog. While I am pretty open on Instagram, I get hesitant to broadcast things like this in such a personal way. However, I think that writing about it (and anything, really) can be incredibly therapeutic. So, here we go.
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease . Essentially, my rapid weight gain, poor diet, and lack of exercise created a layer of fat that spread across my liver. At the stage it’s in now, it’s not dangerous, but I needed to take action to prevent the spreading. This was the kick in the pants I needed to really take a look at myself and my habits.
Now, I’ve always been the bigger friend. I’m used to being a little pudgy, overweight, etc. That DOESN’T mean that I was inherently unhealthy; simply just bigger. I learned over time to love that quality about myself, and that’s why I always use my social media to promote body positivity. Although I did (and do) love myself, I was not eating the way I should be. I went vegan in July2016, but I chose to eat french fries every meal instead of something nourishing for my body. That lasted 2.5 YEARS, and I gained 80+ pounds. I convinced myself that I was healthy because I was vegan, and that was not the case. I talk about this more in my article on Jade’s blog which you can read here .
I slowly sneak food I like into my meals. I have entire cheat days. I eat mozzarella sticks in bed while watching Netflix sometimes. I live at Taco Bell. But that’s okay.
After this time of self reflection and dozens of doctor’s appointments, it became clear that I have an addiction to food. Food comforts and soothes my anxiety, and brings me the ultimate happiness. Had a rough day? Eat. Bored? Eat. Do something you’re proud of? Celebrate by eating. My FAVORITE thing in the world is to get a ton of crappy food and eat in bed. THAT’S my happy place. However, THAT is toxic to my health. Toxic to my body. Toxic to my mind. And I’m working every day to change that.
I have slowly but surely lost 20 pounds. It wasn’t all diet and exercise, though. I’ve spent a lot of time working on my mind; I change my thoughts from negatives to positives, and have changed the way I think about food. We need food to sustain life, yes, and our bodies are vessels for life. Why wouldn’t you want to live your best life? Every day I send my grandma a list of food that I’ve eaten, keeping me accountable when I binge. I’ve been working with my life coach Rachel Beth on changing my relationship with food. I’ve been doing yoga, practicing reiki, and meditating as much as possible. But I’m only human.
I slowly sneak food I like into my meals. I have entire cheat days. I eat mozzarella sticks in bed while watching Netflix sometimes. I live at Taco Bell. But that’s okay. You know why? Because I’M HUMAN. I don’t look at my accidental binges or cheat days as a defeat; they brought me happiness in that moment. They help me learn. And they won’t kill me. When people used to say to me, “everything in moderation” I thought that was a load of crap, but man is it true. I don’t restrict myself, because that will make me only want the bad things more. Instead, I allow myself to meet myself where I’m at each day. I make conscious decisions about what I put into my body, and allow myself to take some things in moderation.
So yes, I lost 20 pounds due to this positive mindset I’ve adopted. I need to lose about 80 more to be at a healthy weight/BMI. I need to exercise more (I rarely do, and I take the ~easier~ more meditative yoga classes.) I need to slowly have less cheat days. But it’s the little victories that mean so so much more. I’m taking this one day at a time.
Here’s a couple things I’ve changed that have helped so much:
Drink more water, less soda
Haven’t ordered french fries in months
Almost never eat in bed anymore
Listing out my daily food
Created an “Urg” jar. Everytime I feel like ordering something I shouldn’t, I reward myself with beads in a jar. This also helps replace food as my reward for good things.
TALKING ABOUT IT
Yoga & Meditation weekly
Life Coaching with Rachel
Change my negative thoughts to positive ones
Intermittent fasting – I eat three meals, between 12-8 every day.
Here are some resources if you are suffering with BED:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/eating-disorders/binge-eating-disorder.htm/
https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/mental-health-conditions/eating-disorders/binge-eating-disorder
I would like to point out here that every disorder is different, and the same disorder could look different to different people. If you are dealing with something similar, just know that you are not alone. But some of these techniques and resources could be harmful for you – find what feels right for you. Here’s to a stronger mind and body.
Want $5 of Gladrags Pads ? Use code: ROSECAFLETIC at checkout.
Love Dazey la as much as I do? Click here , and use code ROSECAFLETIC at checkout.
Instacart is my favorite way to get groceries! Get $10 off with code KMCKINSTRy182119
Snag 15% off from Inner Peach with code: TREATYOSELF
Want 10% off all Lively products? Use code: AMB-rosecafletic at checkout!
Are you obsessed with Thinx? Snag a pair of these cute underwear to replace panty liners when you’re on your period! http://ref.thinxify.me/iUTNS
For 15% of your purchase at Shop Modern Gypsy use code: ROSECAFLETIC
Want some cute feminist apparel? AND get 10% off your first purchase by signing up for the Feminist Apparel mailing list! Check out: http://www.feministapparel.com?rfsn=632067.b95eb7
Obsessed with the Fabfitfun box and want a 10% discount? Click here , and enter code FIRSTBOX. #Fabfitfunpartner
Check out Boss Babes Collective and get 15% of your purchase with code: katiee15
Love Thriver ? Use code “Katiee” for 10% your purchase!
** Some of these links are affiliate links for brands I work with. If you don’t know what affiliate marketing is, click here . **
More
Tumblr
View rosecafletic’s profile on Facebook
View rosecafletic’s profile on Twitter
View rosecafletic’s profile on Instagram
View rosecafletic’s profile on Pinterest
Passionate about coffee, feminism, literature, and music. I'm vegan, a Pisces, and a bunny mom. Aspiring to be Gloria Steinem. Follow me through my feminist mumblings~
View Full Profile →
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
Email Address
Subscribe
Services, Discounts, & FREE STUFF!
What I LOVE About Each Zodiac Sign
Here’s Why Keanu Reeves is Breathtaking
Creative Girl Crew: The Importance Of Community
Opinion On Abortion Bans From A Mom Herself