Pop Culture’s Bisexual Erasure And Why It Hurts
Pop culture helps many people find language for experiences they have not yet explained to themselves. A character’s desire, a lyric’s subtext, or a storyline about coming out can feel like a small door into a larger understanding of identity. For bisexual people, however, that door is often left half open.
Bisexuality is frequently treated as a temporary phase, a narrative twist, or a detail that disappears once a character enters a relationship. A woman who dates another woman and later falls for a man may be described as straight. A man with a male partner may be assumed to be gay. The character’s history becomes disposable, even when the story has already shown that attraction can cross gender lines.
This is bisexual erasure: the dismissal, denial, or simplification of bisexual identity in media and everyday life. It affects how audiences understand fictional characters, but its consequences reach much further. Stories shape cultural expectations, and repeated absence can make real people feel unseen, questioned, or pressured to prove who they are.
When Representation Disappears
Bisexual erasure does not always look like an openly hostile statement. Sometimes it appears through silence. A character may explicitly identify as bisexual, then have that identity ignored for the rest of the story. Their sexuality becomes relevant only during a coming-out scene, while every later relationship is interpreted as evidence that the character has “chosen” one side.
Other examples are quieter. A character’s same-gender attraction may be framed as experimentation, rebellion, or a response to trauma, while their different-gender relationships are treated as more authentic. Writers may use bisexuality as a source of shock or intrigue and then remove it when the plot moves on. These choices teach viewers that bisexuality is unstable, decorative, or less real than gay or straight identities.
The problem is also visible in marketing and fandom conversations. A character can be labeled according to their current partner rather than their stated identity. Press coverage may celebrate a performer as a queer icon while avoiding bisexual language altogether. When the most accurate word is repeatedly replaced with a more convenient one, erasure becomes part of the culture surrounding the story.
The Cost Of Being Seen As Indecisive
Many bisexual people grow up encountering the idea that attraction must point in one consistent direction. Pop culture reinforces this narrow expectation when it treats a change in partner as a change in sexuality. This can make bisexual viewers question their own experiences, especially when they are still developing a vocabulary for attraction, desire, and belonging.
The harm is emotional as well as social. Someone may feel too queer for straight spaces and not queer enough for LGBTQ+ spaces. They may be asked to provide a dating history as evidence, or told that their identity is only valid if their relationships appear evenly divided across genders. These demands turn a personal identity into a public trial.
Erasure can also affect safety and support. If bisexuality is represented as indecision or promiscuity, people may face suspicion from partners, healthcare providers, relatives, or employers. Research has frequently connected bisexual communities with elevated rates of anxiety, depression, sexual violence, and other forms of marginalization. Media cannot explain every cause, but it can either challenge harmful assumptions or make them easier to repeat.
The absence of nuanced stories is especially painful for people who are already isolated. A bisexual teenager, a late-diagnosed adult, or someone in a long-term different-gender relationship may search for a reflection of their life and find only jokes, stereotypes, or characters whose identities vanish when the plot demands simplicity.
Stereotypes Rush Into The Silence
When authentic representation is limited, stereotypes often fill the gap. The “greedy bisexual” suggests that attraction to more than one gender means wanting everyone. The “confused bisexual” implies that a person is incapable of self-knowledge. The “untrustworthy bisexual” links sexual orientation with cheating or emotional instability. These ideas are not harmless shorthand; they shape how real people are judged.
Another recurring pattern is the fetishized bisexual woman, whose identity exists mainly for the pleasure or curiosity of others. Her attraction may be presented as provocative when it involves women, then dismissed when she dates men. Bisexual men are often erased entirely, with media treating male bisexuality as an uncomfortable stop on the way to a gay identity.
There is a difference between depicting a bisexual character who is messy, selfish, fearful, or uncertain and suggesting that those traits define bisexuality. Every community contains flawed people. The issue is whether a story offers enough range for audiences to understand that a character’s mistakes are personal, not proof that their orientation is inherently unreliable.
Astrology, fandom, and other systems of self-reflection can offer people playful ways to explore identity, but they should never become substitutes for listening to someone’s own words. A thoughtful astrology reflection can make room for complexity; representation should do the same.
| Pattern in a Story |
Message It Can Send |
More Honest Alternative |
| A character’s bisexuality disappears after a new relationship |
Sexuality is determined by a partner |
Keep the character’s identity visible across relationships |
| Bisexuality appears only as a plot twist |
Queerness is entertainment or shock value |
Give the character an interior life beyond disclosure |
| A bisexual character is always portrayed as deceptive |
Attraction to multiple genders causes betrayal |
Show bisexual characters with varied personalities and values |
| Same-gender attraction is treated as experimentation |
One kind of attraction is more authentic |
Let the character define their own experience |
| Bisexual men are repeatedly “corrected” into gay characters |
Male bisexuality is impossible or temporary |
Include bisexual men whose identities are respected |
A Partner Does Not Define An Identity
One of the clearest ways to resist erasure is to separate relationship status from sexual orientation. A bisexual person in a different-gender relationship has not become straight. A bisexual person in a same-gender relationship has not become gay. Their partner is part of their life, not a replacement for their identity.
Stories can communicate this distinction through ordinary details. A character might mention past attractions without turning the moment into a dramatic confession. Friends and family can use bisexual language naturally. A partner can affirm the character without demanding proof. The plot can focus on work, friendship, grief, joy, or conflict rather than making sexuality the only meaningful feature.
This matters for people whose lives do not fit the media image of visible queerness. Some bisexual people are married, some are single, some are polyamorous, some are celibate, and some have never dated. Some know they are bisexual before having a relationship; others understand the identity later in life. None of these experiences cancels the others.
Good representation also makes room for fluidity without treating it as fraud. A person’s attractions may shift over time, or their understanding of themselves may develop. That does not mean they were lying before. Identity can be examined, revised, and lived with honesty without being reduced to a neat, permanent category.
Writing Bisexual Characters With Care
Writers do not need to make bisexual characters perfect in order to represent them well. They do need to give them agency. Let the character name their orientation, decide what it means, and respond to the world from a perspective that is not constantly corrected by other people.
Research and consultation can prevent familiar mistakes. Listening to bisexual writers, advocates, and audience members is more useful than relying on assumptions about what bisexuality “usually” looks like. A character’s sexuality should be part of a wider biography that includes culture, class, race, disability, gender identity, religion, family, and mental health.
Intersectionality is essential because bisexual representation is not evenly distributed. White, conventionally attractive, cisgender bisexual women are more likely to receive visibility than bisexual men, trans bisexual people, disabled bisexual people, and bisexual people of color. One polished character cannot stand in for an entire community.
Viewers also have a role. We can name bisexuality when a character has named it, challenge interpretations that erase it, and support creators who make room for complicated queer lives. Critical media literacy means noticing who gets to define a character and whose version of reality is treated as authoritative.
Creating More Room For Bisexual Visibility
Better representation is built through repeated, everyday choices rather than a single celebrated storyline. Audiences, critics, creators, and platforms can help by refusing to treat bisexuality as a phase or a marketing device.
- Use a character’s stated identity instead of defining them by their current partner.
- Seek stories that include bisexual people with different genders, backgrounds, ages, and relationship structures.
- Critique stereotypes without treating flawed bisexual characters as evidence against bisexual visibility.
- Support bisexual writers, performers, podcasts, organizations, and independent publications.
- Talk about erasure with care, especially when real people are sharing vulnerable experiences.
The goal is not to demand that every story explain bisexuality perfectly. Art can be ambiguous, characters can be contradictory, and people can misunderstand themselves. The goal is a wider cultural landscape where bisexuality is allowed to be ordinary, specific, joyful, complicated, and real.
That work belongs in conversations about media, mental health, relationships, and social justice. If a story has made you feel erased or recognized, share your perspective with care, support bisexual voices, and reach the site to help keep these conversations visible.
